What I've realized is that when I'm not watching I have a tendency to slip backward down the hill of self doubt. I start to come undone. It only takes a moment and the loop of negative self talk gets started-"I can't", "I am not capable of doing this", "everyone would be better if I wasn't here".
It's really not all that different from slipping down the hill of poor eating habits or being completely unmotivated to get up early and work out. When we are under attack by any number of offensives we revert, we make poor decisions. I can always justify eating junk when I'm stressed. "It makes me feel better". (Especially when I'm so hasty that some of the snacks fall to the floor as I try to put a whole handful in my mouth.)
The key is to recognize the destruction at the onset. Look for the signs of a migraine and take the Aleve as soon as you see any of them. When you feel that you are going to scavenge the house for candy-stop. Take a moment before potentially making yourself sick and find a place to be alone. Thinking about, meditating, mulling over your problems is the first step to a solution.
In an effort to avoid a melt down I try to figure out what the hell my problem is. Maybe I reached my breaking point because I haven't made the time to shower. Often we just need to reset, recommit, rethink. If I can't retreat I just take a moment to close my eyes, take a deep breath, let go of everything and feel. This grounds me, reminds me that I am independent of the past choices I've made and that I can do more than I think I can.
The fitness challenge helped me to gain the control I had let go of. I was reminded of my capacity to do. I acquired a belief in myself and when I got a little discouraged it was not hard to find strength because of what I had accomplished that morning at the gym.
When we become an adult-whatever age that is-we realize life is truly a reflection of our choices. We have the power to be and do anything we want to and on the flip we choose the consequences that come from the absence of action.
We will soon begin a new year, let's decide what the future will be, plan how we'll make it happen and what we'll do with the setbacks.
Peace and Love
