In looking for my true identity- I got a job. I worked it for three weeks and realized it wasn't the right fit. I was doing some work from home and some work in an office with my loyal sidekick Louie. The schedule wasn't set, the responsibilities somewhat unclear and the space to be creative unleashed. It was a lot. A lot too much. My mind got more cluttered and jumbled. It was more mangled mess than I could manage. So I quit. I'm back to being the mom. But you know what-the house has been cleaner this last week than at any time in the past 2 months, I have been here to cook up after school quesadillas, Louie and I even took a trip to the library.
As I pendulate back and forth I wonder what a job is worth. I'm uneducated and a resident of Idaho so my wages would be roughly $9.00 an hour-tops. If I were to get a full time job, a little less than half would go to provide day care for Louie. I know I would be forced to miss soccer games, school presentations. How do you fit in ortho appointments? I don't know how a successful working mom does it. I don't know if I can do it.
On the other hand I can put a sophisticated spin on the whole idea and see working accompanied with priceless benefits. Contributing financially to our family in the bleak months called winter may actually be a necessity. Being in an environment with other people may provide just enough variety that I uncover a deeper love for my family. Recognition for a job well done-no matter what it might be- could help me find untapped feelings of self worth. Going to work everyday might reveal greater purpose and help develop personal goals.
Every choice comes with a sacrifice. How do you know what or who is most important?
