Spokane Lantern Fest May 2017 photo credit Ashton Cooper
Being mindful is something I've been working on. To me, being mindful means being present, living with purpose and it is a vital component to feeling balanced.
I have been very choosy about my activities. I don't work more shifts than I feel comfortable even though my boss constantly asks for more of my time, I haven't auditioned since January, and I stopped scanning Craigslist for gigs. I am excited about Mindful Mondays on campus and have drawn out a weekly block schedule.
I'm also learning I'm not as open minded as I thought I was. I definitely have opinions and emotional reactions to situations, music, people. I recently accompanied Troy to a concert I had no interest in seeing and had to fake it. However when we finally decided to leave I couldn't hold back the tears! I had been so uncomfortable. I felt like my ears were bleeding. And if it's a musician I love I wouldn't mind being packed like a sardine rubbing shoulders with the man who apparently shaves his arms and were scratchy as hell. But I could not wait for this show to wind down. Maybe I should've had more to drink or maybe I shouldn't have gone. After that experience and a few recent dance nights downtown I've come to realize it's about quality not quantity. I love to dance but I've always hated provocative, grinding movements. Call me a prude. I remember slapping boys at every junior high school dance for getting too close. I think I'm done with the club scene, I'd rather have a dance party in my living room Drescher style.
I suppose I hate missing out or the idea that I might miss out if I stay home. But that doesn't have to mean doing something I don't like. And I don't have to like everything.
Having an awful time at that concert gave me empathy for our son who doesn't enjoy theater (in fact he says it makes him sick to his stomach). The way I felt was almost unbearable and now I understand how he felt the evening he ruined Miracle on 34th Street for me last year.
As I embark on my junior year at Boise State I'm listening and trying to be in tune to find my precise path. I'm not sure exactly what profession I will end up in but I'm certain being mindful will guide me the right way.
The most important thing I want to teach my kids is how to make a decision. I believe there are "multiple paths to the summit" and no matter what we will all be okay. However, there is something special when the universe aligns and life feels easy, when choices are made with thought and spiritual confirmation.
