It’s been almost a week since we watched our oldest child cross the stage from high school into the world. I had a passing thought during the ceremony that I hadn’t had a chance to really digest until this morning. In the past six days I’ve prepared and served 3 meals for people (other than our little family), worked 8.5 hours, been on the farm for 11+hours, done 14 hours of homework, gone to a concert, dealt with a most unruly teen, been on my period and flew to Salt Lake City.It has been a most peaceful morning. I arrived around 9:30am and have found a bench in the beautiful sunshine to decompress. I’ve meditated, observed, smiled, made a list of things I’m grateful for and simply enjoyed being alive while waiting for one of my treasured childhood friends to pick me up. It was over the course of these past couple hours I was reminded of the passing notion I had Saturday at graduation.
What if I had left for good? What if Troy and I had divorced all those years ago? How would that little girl have been changed? How would I have been able to help her know she is supported by me, for always? I had desperately wanted my freedom. It pained me, as I would lay in bed at night, that I had been committed to a domesticated life. I assumed I would never be happy- at least not while I was married and raising kids.
One of my colleagues on the farm said her mother told her how hard marriage is before she got married. Paraphrasing our conversation, her mother made mention it is common to spend years “out of love” with your spouse. That marriage is much more than getting through a bad fight, it is the foundation of a family. Marriage is what creates comfort, a home, childhoods.
Yes, being a parent puts you in chains no doubt. But, it is just for a season. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Support your spouse so he can support you. I feel a bit sheepish on this side of what seemed an impossible trial. I have an amazing man by my side and my love for him grows everyday.
Troy we beat the odds. I’m glad to be your partner. We got this. 💗
