Today was amazing. I had an epiphany during my morning meditation. I think I'm finally getting it. I've been home all week because Louie was sick. And I am so thankful that I didn't have any pressing responsibilities like classes I had to attend, or mandatory work meetings or a demanding internship looming. I could take each morning's fever and stuffy nose and call into the school secretary sans stress. It was beautiful to be present, to be just Mom.
I've been itching for more to do since my farm internship ended almost exactly one month ago. I have so much more time and feel like I should be doing more. But if I had signed up to be PTO president, auditioned for a show or registered for another class I might not have had the luxury to stay home this week. My part-time position at the Idaho Hunger Relief Task Force is the perfect amount of flexibility and purpose. I feel so lucky to be where I am in life. I hope I can hold onto this feeling.
A few Sundays ago I was thinking about the migrant caravan making their way to the United States and how many needs they must have- physical and otherwise. As I scanned the globe on my bookshelf I wondered how I could help them. Immediately I was reminded I have a house full of people who need my help every day. I believe the most impactful thing I can do right now is to be present. It has taken me so many years to get to this point. I still feel there is more out there for me to learn and do and become but after juggling full-time school, an internship, and work I am satisfied to be attending parent/teacher conferences, putting together a box of food for my Freshman, having talks with my purple-haired boy, helping discipline them all for the stupid choices they make- being Mom.
The second reason today was so amazing was dinner. Last night I made potatoes au gratin and tonight I made a potato and corn chowder. What happened when we combined the two was fucking delicious! Orgasmic! Out of this world! I hope tomorrow is half as wonderful.
