I’m really thankful I have people in my house to hug every day. I am beyond ecstatic that my commute has disappeared. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to working in an offsite office. I’m thankful our home is a safe place and comfortable. I am in love with the solace found in the They Shed. I appreciate how thoughtful and resourceful we’ve been forced to become with our essentials shopping and meal planning. I love that the pace of life has slowed dramatically. I miss spending time with friends. I miss live music and drinks and eating out. I miss spontaneous trips to Bend, Oregon. I long for more solitude. I love people but I also crave my alone time. I find it more difficult to meditate when there are people moving around. It’s true everything is made up of energy and it’s all so-interactive. We’re fortunate that even though Troy’s place of employment shut it’s doors last week he has had numerous offers. The kids are all doing well, not complaining too much. I’m proud of them. This is such an unnerving situation and I would think adding the discomfort of youth would make it damn near unbearable. I’m glad I’m quarantined with my lover and can be comforted with sex when we need/want it. It makes me so happy to go outside and tend the garden daily. Also we’ve started our compost-it only took two years. I’m getting more courage to try things, to feed my creativity, to come into my full potential. With all the anxiety and craziness surrounding us it pushes me to realize nothing is more important than being authentic. My desires to make big changes, to challenge the narrative are welcomed by the universe in fact I’m being called. Called to leave some things behind and dive into others. It’s time. Time to fly but I’m still tethered. I’m amazed by my sister who is 198 days sober. I’m impressed that we are all still functioning, moving forward. I actually enjoy having the time to keep up with the household chores. Things are getting cleaned to my standards more often. I’m going back to my roots. I appreciate the interactions I’ve witnessed between siblings, between auntie and nieces and nephews. I’ve enjoyed taking in the night sky-stars and moon. I’ve laid awake, unable to rest. I’ve been drunk earlier than ever before. This is getting to be too much.
I joined a Book Club in Australia, they meet at 3:00am my time by Zoom on Tuesdays. I hope I have the energy to keep attending. I can encourage my husband to help me get things done around the house because he has so many other good qualities I love. If all he needs is a suggestion and/or a helper to do projects, sign me up! I love spending one on one time with people. I love feeling like time isn’t a thing and I can give my full attention to each and every conversation. I am welcoming the challenge of one car between Troy and I. I love working out with Louie. I hate the heavy uncertainty that lingers. I love how early happy hour has become. I love keeping in touch with out-of-state friends. I wonder how many parties we’ll have when we can. The complexity of my emotions leaves me speechless. I feel like it’s difficult to focus. It seems as though anyone might crash at any moment. So how have you been?
