I feel myself changing. I told Troy last week that I don’t think I’ll be recognizable in a year from now. Bewildered, he said, “How so?” Well, I don’t imagine I’ll wear any make up by then, my style is morphing and I am choosing not to wear shoes whenever possible. This pause on “normal” has really allowed me to shift more quickly. I’m analyzing my choices. I’ve started to ponder what beauty means to me. What does an inviting home feel like? Is it possible to never go shopping again? I want to continue to learn, to grow, to resist the narrative that no longer makes sense to me, to revert to simpler times. I’ve always heard (and have come to believe) the only things we can take with us when we die are relationships and knowledge. Some people offer both, others none. Can I cultivate deeper connections? Can I sift through and find relevant information? What are the distractions? What is the truth?
Today I French braided my own hair for the first time ever! I don’t think it turned out too bad. I made spaghetti sauce and French bread from scratch. Our salad was picked fresh from the garden and I hung our clothes out to dry. Over the weekend I completely turned off my phone for two whole days-that was strangely enjoyable. I don’t have a car right now so we’ve been juggling for the past two weeks. Troy and I went on a bike ride last night just before dusk. And the hours I’ve spent outside enjoying the sun rival the hours I spent on the farm two years ago.
I may not be creating a new system or learning an entirely new skill set. But if I can quit comparing myself to the super humans on Instagram and take stock of the things going on right in front of me-it’s evident I’m making progress. That’s my challenge- take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
