What flavor is this?

Something incredible happened today. I felt a new emotion. I had no idea it was missing from my diverse range of sentiments. I think it would be best described as ....satisfaction.
So maybe the emotion wasn't entirely new (I've had my share of Snicker's bars). It was more the motivation behind the feeling.
I work for myself now. As much as my new job involves teaching it also involves business. It involves scheduling appointments, obtaining the proper licensing, using the proper jargon, being the face of the company, making a good first impression, making orders, contributing to a website, managing an additional Facebook page, managing my time and a plethora of other responsibilities I can't fathom.
I owe you an apology Troy. I had never even tried to understand the entrepreneurial brain. To me it all looked like risk = chance of failure, working for someone else = security. We all know nothing in life is ever all or nothing but I am a black or white thinker by nature and owning a business didn't seem worth the stress. But today I strolled downtown Boise with my husband mid morning to get aforementioned proper licensing taken care of and felt light as a feather. I am in control. I decide what is a priority, I will make this happen.
I am anxious. I know plenty of unknown mistakes lay in wait. I haven't taught theater for years. I've never had to do any marketing past handing flyers out at the 4th of July parade. But as I wrote my bio this morning my confidence began to grow as I listed the things I've accomplished. I can do this.
I'm thankful for the people in my life who believe in me and have taken the opportunity to let me know. With all that awaits I feel confident I won't be left wanting for a long time to come.

What do you say we take out the tile today? 

All in good time

I've been quiet. Stifled by work and school, acting, mothering, being wife. I've been fulfilling my dreams, making money, making progress. I've been waiting while life unfolds. I once read and it has been swimming around in my head, "Somehow you will solve life's obstacles there is no doubt in that. All in good time they will be handled, not as fast as you would like sometimes, but still handled." It's true. This last month felt like an eternity as I waited for time to tell me what the right choice was. Early April I caught wind of an opportunity and it blew my way. I was offered the position of Director of the treasure valley for a program called Shining Stars. This company has written curriculum and a business model that successfully takes theater classes to preschools and daycare centers. Yes, sales are a huge part of this career path and not something I have much experience in. However, I love theater and feel the arts are priceless. So, without a firm timeline I approached my current employer (at a fantastic, family owned, one of a kind barbecue restaurant) and let him know I will be taking a new job soon. He responded with "Your timing is terrible. This is very disappointing. I was preparing to offer you a different position." So for a couple of weeks I struggled with which opportunity would win out. I called friends and family, I researched, I even prayed with a stranger in a Walmart parking lot! In the end, the answer came on a Sunday afternoon. I walked into a theater and was hit with a profound feeling of "home". I know where my heart is, who I am. I decided to go with the teaching/sales position as frightening as it will be. As soon as I made the decision, the ball started rolling and in addition I was asked to help teach beginning acting this summer for a different theater company!
I just finished my last assignment for a class- a reflection essay. It was awesome that my experiences this semester have cemented my idea to continue my education. I no longer feel like I once did-a fish out of water, floundering to figure out how to breathe. I'm handling life.

Life is crazy. Life is good. Life is fun.

Written April 4, 2016

I'm currently enrolled in a course titled -Refugees in Idaho. I have been reading about people who have had to endure much more than I will ever be required to. I'm talking about war, starvation, being beaten, witness to murder, rape you name it. As part of this class I was asked to interview someone who was a refugee or immigrated to the US. I was privileged to know of a wise old man who immigrated from India in 1958 with a student visa. He has done our income taxes, one of his four sons was our business partner and he currently lives in our neighborhood so it was very convenient to spend an hour during spring break listening to his story. I love hearing about people's lives. We talked about his childhood some, his journey to America, his college days. The thing that stuck out to me most was technically off the record when he said we need to accept our lives.

I have spent so much energy fighting my place in life. No matter what it seems I'm never happy. As of late my struggle is my work schedule which is really great except for the two 11 hour days on Friday and Saturday. And actually those two days provide a big chunk of my tips based paycheck. But if I apply the advice to accept it....

And this is where I stopped typing to take a phone call that would change my plans. I had literally just accepted the fact I work close to full time in the food industry and had accepted the fact all my Friday and Saturday nights will be spent serving others on their date nights and then I am offered a position teaching theater!