You are stronger than you think

I chose to spend 90 minutes in 100 degree weather to mow the yard. Some say, "Make your kids do it", "That's what kids are for". Sheepishly I agree thinking they're right and I'm wrong. Why doesn't my husband do it? The fact of the matter is, I'm my father's daughter and I actually like working in the yard. Yes Mom, it's true. I also realized how much more enjoyable it is when the grass is high and the sun is hot.  I like to hear my favorite music cheering me on. This chore has always made me feel strong like I have the power to conquer armies should there be any in my way.  For a long time I had to act like the little engine that could chanting "you can do it, you can do it." This was my only solace as I dodged moths, grasshoppers, bees and wasps which all seemed to attack me when I didn't even know they were hiding in the first place. I've gotten better and can forge through with Pandora.

As I was on leave from the world making an attempt at straight lines-haha-I got to thinking about how strength is about pushing ourselves. As I pushed through the tough spots I thought of my oldest daughter and how she may not think of me as strong in an emotional sense, I want her to know I'm strong because I don't give up-I fight through the blisters. I thought about how good it felt to push my body to finish the yard without breaks-except for a minor one when I shared a popcicle with Louie it was orange-we were out of purple-but I refrained from sitting because it definaty would have been over. I thought about the people who-be up in the gym working on their fitness-pushing themselves to the limit. I thought about a special mom of a friend who would work a swing shift and come home and start making food for us teenagers. She never sat down for a break she is strong and pushed herself.
Recently I told a friend who has significantly less children than I -if you had to do what I have to do, you wouldn't be able to do it the way you want to. I don 't actually think that's true anymore. With enough desire I do have the strength to push myself to keep a cleaner house this is probably my biggest aspiration. With the kids as my slaves-I can do it.

Our new routine of same get out of bed time, same chores, same consequences for two solid weeks is working and they no longer bring up child labor laws anymore. Do I feel stronger? Absolutely but I cringe to think my teens will likely ruin it. Can't see it going well. (they are in Cali with grandmas) I have pushed myself.  The first step was the plan, the second acting on it.

It was right in front of me the entire time. As my dear friend Dannette would say -put on your big girl panties. Let's clarify, the panties themselves don't necessarily have to be big. I needed to push myself to get stronger -not change my role in the lives of the most important people-my family. I needed to get stronger by simply trying harder.  We are all in different places can all handle only so much at one time.

Sometimes we need to break to put ourselves back together and we need to fall to get back up. Sometimes we  downright can 't push any farther we have made it to our limit and need the strength of someone else to push from behind. This time I think I just needed to overcome myself and find the strength I had buried. I thought I was going to lose, to be eaten alive by these monsters , my offspring. When really I just needed to take control of the situation, exert my power and face them with a sword and shield. I am stronger than they are by sheer status-I am their mother-and always will be. I can do this. As cheesy as it may sound, when you tell someone you believe in them, that is a source of infinite strength. Let 's build each other up against all we have to fight. Tell someone you love how you are on their side , you believe they have the strength to overcome.