Be proud

Maybe our quirkiness, mistakes and failures are exactly what our kids need to thrive. Out twice with friends this week I realized something very important. If I had not grown up in a house that regularly held family dance parties I would not have known the joy that comes from that form of expression. Dancing is personal. Many people "don't dance". I can't imagine having that kind of restraint. I love letting the music move me. I have no idea if I look silly or cool but I don't care. I owe that to my parents- thank you. The practice of cranking the music and having a good time has ensured I have a blast at concerts 30 years later. It is the exposure to things that makes us comfortable in different situations and even allows us to live gracefully, and love others for who they are.

When we try to shield our children from too much it inhibits their growth, their ability to make wise decisions, it can even lower their confidence. Raising teenagers is no easy task. It is a balancing act between teaching by example and letting them make their own choices. However the key is teach them to make educated choices not choices out of fear or without an understanding of the why. It is so important we give them the BIG picture. It is not enough to say "because I'm the parent that's why".

If we don't understand something we should seek to learn more about it rather than ignore it. The unknown is extremely uncomfortable. I would much rather have my children learn about real life before they are thrown into it, than to years later feel betrayed and bewildered lost in the sea of 20 somethings not sure which way to swim. I'm not suggesting to party with your minors but talk to them about the dangers of alcohol poisoning and buzzed driving. I'm not encouraging sex among teens but have the discussions, find out where they are, what their friends are doing. Don't ignore the issues they are facing because they know the rules and they are expected to follow them. But whatever you do- don't react. Your kids will only talk to you if they feel safe. Safe from judgement.

My parents aren't perfect but they did a damn good job if you ask me. I ALWAYS felt loved, I ALWAYS knew I could talk to them about ANYthing. I knew they had made mistakes and that knowledge was key to how I viewed myself. I knew I didn't have to be any certain way to be accepted by them. Having a strong relationship with my parents has been monumental in my life.

We are muddling through this parenting journey and often doubt we know what the hell we're doing but the priority is truly love. I want my kids to know we all make mistakes, we learn and grow from them. I want them to know there is a personal set of values for every individual who walks this planet. What is okay for one person may be absolutely wrong to another but we can coexist quite beautifully if we learn to be accepting rather than afraid.

So think before you act, speak or judge. Make educated decisions in all aspects of your life. Seek knowledge, truth and experiences. Have candid conversations and share your opinions. Be YOU and know you are loved no matter what.