Birthday shenanigans
In my former days I had closed many a book, walked out of a live production, turned off the tv, changed the radio station, ended friendships, ended relationships, put distance between myself and family members, avoided certain places, avoided certain people and even asked a professor to make an exception for me in a lit class.
Last month I attended a lecture at BSU. The speaker spoke of trigger warnings. I had never heard of the term so I had yet to form an opinion. At first I thought well maybe that's a kind gesture to give warning to readers -discretion is advised. Trigger warnings could be compared to well meaning friends who try to help you keep the standards you've exclaimed you are required to live. For example I was warned about OITNB. I've been excluded from get togethers because I wasn't a drinker. Well meaning but when you dive into the subject of trigger warnings you realize they are only producing an illusion of safety.
And as I watched football with Troy today I became angry again. Angry that I don't want to work, that I don't have endurance for work, that I wasn't taught how important and necessary it is to work. I am capable of so much but I never thought I'd have to do it. Surrounded by Mormon women whose husbands finished school and got real good jobs so they could stay home and craft and create and be fun moms. They were my role models. They were my unattainable inspiration for life. After all it was my job to nurture the children, that was what the Lord had asked me to do. And I didn't fight it. I had faith we'd make it on one income. I knew if we paid a full tithe we would miraculously have enough to cover the bills everything would be alright if we were keeping the pluthora of commandments. I thought motherhood was the hardest thing and I was going to try my best to be the best. Ha! Motherhood alone is easy. Being a working mom is fucking hard. However, everyone does it. That is how life is. Why did I believe I shouldn't have to help provide for our brood? And my hours may total 40+ but at least I'm at home for a lot of those. No I currently don't have to work nights or weekends. This job will eventually be financially beneficial (or so I've been told). I just struggle with finding a balance and I'm angry because I feel way behind. I have friends that have been teaching for years, friends who have retirement funds and important positions and education and lots of skills. Yes- I can make bread from scratch and multi task like a boss but come on those are not serious transferable skills. I wasn't prepared for plan B. I thought my only job was to have babies and care for them. I understood that "the most important work I would ever do would be within the walls of my own home" meant I was to be present there as much as possible, I believed that was what I was born to do- be a mom. So I didn't learn marketable skills and I never attempted to get a real job or finish my college education until now. I know lots of people have walked this path before me but I hope my children don't follow me. I hope they figure out who they are before they bring children into their lives. I hope they learn how to work and find good jobs they enjoy. I guess that's essentially what I'm doing- teaching my kids by example.
Back to the term trigger warnings. Keeping you from seeing or reading something that might be offensive is creating an illusion of safety. You will not always get a fair warning before something horrifying falls in your lap. I realized a long time ago LIFE is R rated! So with all the guidelines or commandments given by the church there is only an illusion of safety. You can not protect your children from everything nor should you try. Because then they will end up ill prepared for the real world where things don't usually come easy, things are rarely what you expect and you can not control anything!
So no I don't believe books, articles, Facebook pages should use trigger warnings. If you don't like something do what I used to do put it down, walk away, turn it off. It is not up to the author to watch out for your feelings. Writing whether it be a screenplay, a blog post or a novel is meant to be a means of self expression. Don't sensor me. After all there is no way to avoid reality. Life is messy, life is hard make sure your children learn that before they leave you or they will wonder why they feel unsuccessful and without a place in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment