No spend September

It was tradition for my dad's birthday month (February) we would go without any extras. That was what he wanted. Then he was a full time student with a family, we didn't have much for "extras" anyway. It meant no take out pizza and no trips to Blockbuster.

For the last few months we've been comfortable. We've eaten out a little more, justified some new clothes and signed each of the kids up for activities. We've purchased duplicates of small items for convenience, so not everything has to be shared. It's been nice to be able to breathe a little easier.  However, we've always said if we start making more money let's live like we're poor and save the rest. At this point it might not be a large amount but it's my birthday month and I declare it "No Spend September".

We prepared the kids a couple of days out. I told them we won't be stopping for fast food or treats when we're out. I don't plan to stock up on a bunch of prepackaged items from Costco that they think constitutes a lunch. They might have to make a sandwich and take an apple. Someone might need to bake up a triple batch of chocolate chip cookies. I told them if they need to go someplace in Star they will be walking or riding their bikes and trips will be combined or cut in an effort to save gas. I'm hoping Troy will get back into the habit of packing food for work. I too am trying to shake up my routine, yesterday I walked Louie to school (I ended up carrying her scooter and we were 5 minutes late). After mowing the yard I walked to pick her up. Because the scooter hadn't worked out so well I came prepared to push her home with a stroller which meant I had to push an empty stroller to her school-that was cool.

Now that it's been declared- don't judge when we pick up a new-to-us car this month. Troy sold his truck and is looking for a small car with good gas mileage to use for work. For the record it will be saving us money because for the money we've been shelling out for gas he can have a car payment and still be spending less!

Over the years we've gone through our share of financial distress. I know how warped my mind has been at times, trying to decide if something is a need or a want. I had trained to go without- to pretend I was camping. I had decided if I could make it I should. I taught myself how to bake- bread can be made for pennies on the dollar: biscuits, bagels, tortillas, french loaves, whole wheat, english muffins, pies, doughnuts, big soft pretzels and even graham crackers. We got creative with things. One of my favorites was using Wite-Out as polish for a french manicure. Presents were always something used, under ten years old and they are ecstatic no matter what is in the gift bag. I didn't go out with the girls because I didn't want to spend money. Once Troy brought home doughnuts but the one he had picked for me wasn't my favorite. It broke me to tears. My thought was how could he have spent that money and on something that I didn't even want? The stress of not having enough is so heavy. I remember trying to keep my emotions from spilling over when in conversations at church I couldn't identify with the difficulty of choosing draperies to match the patterns of Ethan Allen furniture. One woman was complaining because with her four young children the $3,500 allowance her husband gave her was simply "not enough to last the whole month for groceries and everything else!"

I came to learn I needed some balance. You can't always say no. I remember reaching the point when it was okay to splurge on an evening at the cheap seats or take the kids for a slurpee. I remember thinking, it's just money. Everything was going to pay for our house-we were desperately holding on. We were getting help with food and we were able to keep up on the bills but that was quite literally it for a few months. Once we were out of that house and let it go I remember thinking I wanted to get the car detailed. Why not? It's only money and we've been with nothing before. If I spend it all what'll it hurt?

There was a time when Troy was laid off, collecting unemployment, taking some online college courses and watching Louie while I worked full time at near minimum wage jobs. That was a new perspective for me. I hadn't worked full time since before we were married. It is a lot of hours. I didn't mind the work but I did get grouchy about the pay. I worked hard for a small pay check that yielded practically nothing once the bills were paid. What the hell? Working that much you feel you should be justified in buying just a little something for yourself-something? Hence the saying, "The rich stay rich by living like they're poor and the poor stay poor by living like they're rich." You just can't get ahead if you don't have goals, a little self control and a vision for any kind of a future.

I'm cool with our kids not having everything they want. It would not benefit them in the least. I didn't have anything I didn't work for and I feel I have excellent budgeting skills. Kylie has been gifted the same lesson and is doing phenomenal with her paychecks. Gavin works and Gavin spends faster. You can't win them all.

There is so much in our culture attached to that green paper. So much of life is sought after it but when it's all gone you are left with what has always been there. Later this month we're going to an event presented by Compassion International at a local Christian church. The tour takes you through the life of those less fortunate. I hope the experience will resonate with the kids and they will see how truly blessed they are. I could use that reminder as well.

Pay day is approaching and once the bills are paid I look forward to seeing how many days I can go without spending any money.

If they want  coffee, ice cream and cigs-they'll have to buy them.