We Are the Host

I'm visiting Grandma Coco and she has exhibited some behaviors I have never seen her do- hiding her face in her hands, apologizing for upsetting the children, and the forgetting and repeating. It comes with age and she says often "Don't ever get old". Why do they say that? With death being the other option I think I'd rather choose wrinkles, hearing aids and backaches. But maybe not. Perhaps if I could see and feel my future self she'd tell me otherwise. The frustration that must come with losing one's independence is unfathimable to me. Forget the desire to drive away sometimes and replace it with the fact that you no longer qualify for a driver's license- something about being "unsafe".  That is suffocating.  It's hard to imagine conversing with people who incessantly say "We talked about this", "I already told you", "You don't remember?" and having absolutely not the faintest idea. (I hear all that on occasion but I know I'm always multitasking and some things get missed. What are you gonna do?) I know there are an array of other ailments that accompany age but I have no interest in discussing incontinence, bowel movements and the like. But trapped in your own body, a body that slowly becomes unrecognizable, frail and broken does not encourage me to watch my cholesterol or calcium intake.

Unfortunately sometimes a host of other horrid calamities be fall us in our youth. Things that you don't anticipate or prepare for. Things that hit us full speed ahead. Life can be cruel. Sometimes the remedy is to begrudgingly make a severe change in our diets. Sometimes it requires a large debt of medical bills to find answers. Sometimes the situation is almost unheard of and it requires teams of physicians to build an intricate plan to get you back to a sustainable level of health. Somtimes the treatment makes us feel worse. Sometimes it is a brief few months, perhaps a complicated pregnancy we must endure and sometimes it is terminal. Sometimes it is self inflicted substance abuse and sometimes we are just born that way. Some disease is evident on the surface of our skin and some of us deal with demons tucked into a dark place in our minds. The point of it all is that all of us are sick, are growing old or will soon encounter one of the two. It is truly how we handle ourselves that becomes who we are, what people will remember, what determines our quality of life.

I have been told I am a strong woman but in comparison to the thousands of people I am acquainted with or know of, my problems seem minute. Those who are truly strong and brave have lost children, spouses, or both. They have scars from burns on a large percent of their bodies, have fought cancer (no matter the outcome) or live with paralysis.

The mind is incomprehensibly amazing. We have the power to heal ourselves, to prolong our lives or to stop living. There are stories of people, who placed in certain situations, have convinced themselves of a false truth. One tale is of a man who was locked in a walk-in freezer and died of  complications a body would encounter in negative temperatures but the freezer wasn't even on.  It can go the other way as well. When we believe we are healthy or can be, when we count our blessings, we can feel stronger. Sometimes we need to be lifted by another's belief in us, we need to be carried when our own faith is too weak. Don 't be afraid of illness, reach out and help, you don't know when it will be your turn.

I'm going to give a shameless plug here for a benefit concert Troy is orchestrating for a family we know, the Moretti's. Their 12-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer in September and despite treatments it has progressed rapidly. The concert is on Saturday, July 19th in Star at Blake Haven Park. Please like the Facebook page, Fight Like a Champ.